Posted by: robinsonwarner | August 29, 2008

Sarah Palin Reminds Me of Demi Moore’s Character In “Disclosure”

So now that we have the official matchup for the 2008 presidential election, I would like to weigh in on Sen. John McCain’s pick of the female womanly estrogen breast candidate Gov. Sarah Palin.  I personally think this is going to be a battle of epic proportions.  It’s like Optimus Prime versus Megatron.  I’ll let you figure out who I think is Optimus Prime and who is Megatron.

First of all, I’m under the impression that this chick takes absolutely no prisoners at all.  She is in her mid forties, the first female to ever be elected the Governor of Alaska and a member of the fucking NRA.  I’m not sure there is a more polarizing and unstable group of individuals in the United States (save maybe the Christian right), but she is one of them.  We’re well aware she doesn’t take any shit from anyone and I really think Senator Biden is going to have his hands full at the debates.  She could totally turn around any point on him by just saying, “Did you just look at my boobs?”  Biden will inevitably get flustered because every guy gets flustered when they a) get caught, or b) weren’t looking but get accused, c) looked a minute ago but hadn’t looked again in a minute, d) thought about looking in the near future.  This could spell near disaster for Obama-Biden if Gov. Palin uses the much maligned “Booby Defense” as I will imagine this crafty woman will.  I mean she could totally do it too.  This chick was on the cover of Vogue.  You can see that here.

The best advice I can give to Senator Biden as recourse for the Booby Defense is for him to use The MILF Defense.  Now The MILF Defense can only be used by Obama and Biden or other people with really hot wives.  The MILF Defense can only be used as a response to The Booby Defense.  When the MILF Defense is used by Biden, it will go as such, “Am I looking at your boobs?  Governor, have you seen my wife?”  Biden’s wife is so hot I would date her right now without even thinking twice about it.  I might even kiss her on the first date.

For those of you who are over the age of 30 and are reading this, ask your kids what a MILF is.  You might be thoroughly disgusted, but hey, I didn’t make it up. 

Gov. Palin, thoroughly thwarted in her attempt to undermine Biden’s integrity, will probably then make the face that Demi Moore does in Disclosure when Michael Douglas turns down the sex. 

Scorned and upset, I think that Palin could remedy this oneup-personship by just staying strapped during the debates and keeping her hand on her .38 caliber Smith and Wessen with her classy pearl handle the entire time.  This would serve the purpose of reminding everyone that Joe Biden might leave every public appearance with a grappling hook, but she has a goddamned pistol in her breast pocket.  And by breast I mean… no, wait, I meant that.

I personally think is a moderately brilliant move by the Fartypants… I mean McCain campaign if they are trying to get women voters.  I feel like they’re just saying, “Hey, look at this women!”.  They’re actually thinking straight.  Instead of talking about the potential electoral benefits of another massive terrorist attack, they realized that Obama is weakest with women over forty.  Based on the logic the McCain campaign was utilizing before, I wouldn’t be surprised if they went out and actually got Megatron to be McCain’s running mate.  However, they decided to do something that makes sense and pick… what?!… a women over forty who has a gun.

This is also going to be terribly important in recruiting Clinton supporters.  There are plenty of these voters who are not automatically supporting Obama.  They are voting on the individual and not the principles of the Democratic party.  They’re like the kids at recess when you are deciding what game to play.  They are adamant about freeze tag, but everyone else wants to play kickball.  When the kids put it to a vote and everyone decides to play kickball, the Hillary supporter just says they’re not going to play and go play with the other people who are renowned assholes and often can’t remember how many houses they own.  Are you fucking kidding me?  Grow up.

I mean these Hillary supporters who are not automatically supporting Obama, are like scorned lovers who need all this attention and emotional support and just won’t fucking let it go that people aren’t going to vote for Clinton.  We Democrats appreciate your passion, but the goal is to defeat the Republicans, not have a special love fest for your infatuation with Clinton.

And some of these Clinton supporters are going to vote for McCain.  Wow.  I didn’t realize this was a high school break up.  Clinton supporters who are voting for McCain are doing the equivalent of being really upset about a breakup and then having sex with your ex’s worst enemy.  How about you cut the shit and behave like you’ve matured since you got your driver’s license.

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Responses

  1. You are right, this is totally a move made to win the hearts of women over 40. BUT I actually think choosing Palin is going to be less of an intelligent decision than it may appear to be right now. I think that women are really beginning to support Obama, even the bitter pantsuit wearing ones who love Hillary. On NPR this morning (for the people reading this, i actually am a really cool person) it was discussed that the 40+ female demographic has increased their support of Obama by almost 20% in the month of August. Honestly, I think that women are beginning to realize that this election, as Obama said last night, is NOT about him, it is about us. It is about the issues that women face and the rights that they have that have been continually threatened by the Bush admin. and would continue to be threatened if McCain were to take office. Sarah Palin is a fervent pro-life politician and she would vote to overturn Roe v. Wade in a second not to mention that she is a champion of privatizing social security which is also a major issue for women. I really think that women are beginning to put their support behind Obama and are realizing that what is important are the issues that we face, not necessarily the gender of the person who will represent them. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to see a woman be president or vice president. But I would way rather have the right to have control over my own body, have the hope of receiving social security when I am old enough to, and not see another one of my friends go to Iraq, and if it means having a man rather than a woman in office, then I think thats great. I think other women will feel the same too (at least I hope they do…) and are going to continue to increase their support of Obama despite this choice by McCain.

  2. Joe Biden is going to wipe the floor with Sarah Palin in debates. I’m not worried about him debating a woman, because he debated Hillary without any real issues. Joe can handle it, but if all else fails, the MILF defense is solid.

    I don’t think this was a brilliant move on the McCain campaign. It was reckless. And it’s going to fail. McCain had met her just once, and nobody knows anything about her except that she kind of looks like Tina Fey. But hey, she was Miss Congeniality in the Miss Alaska pageant.

  3. I am nodding vigorously, I see this woman for what she is, a TOKEN. Yes I said it, I’m a horrible person, she’s the Token female. Shame on the McCain camp and no, it didn’t work, it just insulted us and if you’re a woman and not insulted by her lack of foreign policy experience, and the fact that he obviously despises Sarah, then you need your estrogen checked! (check his body language at the announcement, he almost lost the tip of his pinky finger pulling on it, one of his serious tells anytime he’s frustrated or agitated, McCain rings his hands and pulls on his pinky) I thought he was going to wrap his hands around her neck for a few minutes there. So very obviously NOT his first choice, but rather his handler’s choice.

    I adore Joe Biden, I thought he was absolutely the best pick for the job, I think my commentary was more along the line of, “Honey Barack just bought himself a Pit Bull!” when I heard about the choice. I’ve long been an admirer of this man and his ‘take no prisoners’ attitude for years. I think if he’d have picked Hillary, you’d have had a lot of voters thinking ‘legacy presidency’ and they’d have been uncomfortable with the choice, I think they would have always questioned if it was an Obama White House or a Clinton one.

    On Palin, she is a fighter, a close-minded one albeit but a fighter and McCain and her will not get along, sort of like putting two roosters in a burlap sack and I can’t imagine her being suited to the presidency since it’s highly likely that McCain could kick the ol bucket during his term…. that’s a scary thought

    On to more positive thinking…. whew!

  4. Stumbled on your blog while looking for more info about my conservative heroine, and thought I’d inform you that

    that “Vogue cover” was photoshopped.

    No state governor is going to appear in her slip for a photo. She dresses conservatively as befits her position.

  5. No, the Vogue cover is legitimate. I’m sorry.

    http://www.ktuu.com/global/story.asp?s=7495285

    http://celebglitz.com/35564/Celebrity-Gossip/sarah-palin-vogue-magazine-picture-interview-miss-alaska.aspx

  6. Yes she was in a Vogue issue, but no, I’m sorry, the Vogue COVER was photoshopped:

    http://kodiakkonfidential.blogspot.com/2007/12/sarah-in-vogue.html

    http://kodiakkonfidential.blogspot.com/2008/08/if-i-had-dime-every-time.html

    http://dunningrb.wordpress.com/2008/09/01/sarah-palin-on-the-cover-of-vogue/

  7. It may surprise some of you to know, not that you’d believe anything we conservatives said anyway, that it is not Sarah Palin’s sex that has electrified the Republican base, though I suppose that’s in there somewhere, it’s her staunch stand for conservativism itself and her classy confident way of delivering the message. It was an absolutely brilliant move to bring in this wonderful unknown woman. It has galvanized millions of us in a way NOBODY else could have. I’ve been dancing for joy since I first saw her do her Dayton speech. I guess you guys have no idea. Oh she’s wonderful!

    Hope my other email got through with the links showing that the Vogue cover was indeed photoshopped. Not the other Vogue photos, just the cover.

  8. OK, of course it’s her sex, of course that has a big impact, must of course where she’s only the second woman to run for VP, but it’s true that when I think about what she has done for the McCain ticket it’s what she believes and how she says it that I think of. And it’s not just women who are electrified by her. I know men who were not even going to vote at all who are now for McCain-Palin because of her strong conservative stand and ability to deliver it.

  9. touche on the Vogue cover.

    I still think Palin is in no way qualified to be the second most powerful person on the planet. The PTA just doesn’t a good stepping stone to the presidency in my opinion.

  10. So Robin…would your opinion on the PTA as a “stepping stone” also apply to “community organizer?” Or do you view the PTA differently because you think only women are active in the PTA, while community organizers are more often men like Obama?

  11. Unfortunately I believe you are the one considering gender to be more important here. I don’t believe the PTA is a stepping stone to the White House because I don’t believe the PTA is a stepping stone to the White House.

    I view the PTA as something that doesn’t directly translate to an executive position in government God forbid something should ever happen to Sen. McCain.

    I believe there is a certain level of comfort on the Right that Gov. Palin was part of the PTA because, as you mentioned, it keeps her in a traditional gender role; ultimately being concerned with children.

    I am going to look at Gov. Palin’s qualifications scrupulously because, as it is in the nature of politics, many of the details and truths of matters get thrown to the side in the post-convention fire.

    Both community organizers and PTA members share some of the same ideological ground as well as roots in altruistic tendencies. I just feel a little safer with Sen. Obama who wants to get rid of the Bush tax cuts, believes in evolution, and seems to have a general concern for the whole country.

    This is of course my ideological bias.

  12. Shouldn’t you run the links that SHOW that the Vogue cover is phony? It will eventually be stopped but right now it’s still galloping all over the internet.
    http://kodiakkonfidential.blogspot.com/2007/12/sarah-in-vogue.html

    http://kodiakkonfidential.blogspot.com/2008/08/if-i-had-dime-every-time.html

    http://dunningrb.wordpress.com/2008/09/01/sarah-palin-on-the-cover-of-vogue/

    As for the PTA, why focus on the FIRST step when she went from there to good qualifying experience from City Council to Mayor to Governor? Everybody has to start somewhere. The woman has natural political ability.

  13. Yes, in your last paragraph you say what it is all about and SHOULD be all about, the ideology of either side. This is why Palin is being so viciously attacked, it’s not her experience, it’s nothing about her at all except that she has beliefs you don’t share. THAT is fair. We vote for people according to the positions we share with them.

    I’m against Obama not because of anything about him, because he’s a very likeable personable guy, but because he’s got Marxist politics.

    “Concern for the whole country” would be a good line if it were true, but the Left has NO concern for us on the Right. If we believe in creationism or are pro-life, forget it, we belong in the trash from your point of view, there is no concern for us at all.

  14. Yes, CJ, if you believe the world was created 8,000 years ago then yes, there is a huge problem.

    I also have a difficult time reconciling the fact that conservatives so unabashedly are pro-life, concerned with a fetus within a womb, yet are unconcerned for the welfare of the mother. In addition, conservatives who are pro-life are almost nearly always in favor of wars that kill countless babies and children in other lands. You rarely hear about conservatives being concerned about this. I feel like maybe if they didn’t have brown skin conservatives might care about their welfare.

  15. Well, Robin, these exchanges indicate again why American presidential politics is almost always about pragmatism, not ideology. Notwithstanding that ideologically I am a pro-free market, anti-government conservative who is socially liberal, the fact of the matter is that most Americans vote very pragmatically based on their personal economic experience and their feeling of national security or insecurity. Both Obama and McCain know this and are already running to the center (Obama even yesterday reneging on his pledge to repeal the Bush tax cuts) and the “change” label is an effort by both of them to distance themselves from what voters dislike the most: big, unresponsive government.

    As for the “warmongerer” label on McCain, it won’t stick with most voters because it simply is untrue — McCain like most career military people is actually the most resistant and opposed to war, because he is most protective of the common soldier who is put in harms way by unnecesary wars.

    Likewise, the “pacifist” label will not stick with Obama, because nothing in his very limited background really indicates any strong ideology of any kind. His inexperience is really his only weakness, and that is a weakness that may hurt him less on the national security issue this fall than on the domestic economic issues that may dominate the race in the swing states of Ohio, Michigan and Missouri.

    So I think the race is now a much more even, pragmatic race, and both of us probably will be somewhat disappointed in the ideological impurities of our preferred candidates as they “race to the middle” based on the true strong point of our 230-year old American democracy– that American voters vote by and large based on what they believe works, not based on ideological litmus tests.

    …You can look it up, it is a fact…

    …Now back to your implicit comparison between Sarah Palin and Karl Marx…interesting contrast…if you send me Karl Marx’ works for Xmas, I’ll send you some fresh Alaskan king salmon and moose burgers from Wasilla!

  16. Actually the earth is only 6000 years old.

    And it’s simply not true that we don’t care about the mother. If her life is threatened by the pregnancy — which is a VERY rare circumstance — then her life has priority over the baby’s. We also care about the mother in wanting to save her from committing the murder of her child, which for many is a terrible trauma when they actually see what they have done. I actually used to deny that it was a child too, that’s the only way you can justify this killing, by dehumanizing it. Sad really.

    And of course you also misrepresent the conservative position on the necessity of war at times. Nobody LIKES it, that’s the big lie, but in this fallen world there are always those who prey on their neighbors, and America is unique in that we DON’T do that, we go to war to STOP that kind of thing. We saved Europe from Hitler. We WOULD have saved the Cambodians from the slaughter of millions if it hadn’t been for our Marx-st-led protests. Too bad, too bad so many have bought the Marxist hatred of America.

  17. See I disagree on your belief that pragmatism is the main tenet of voter preference. How else can you explain why white blue collar workers in the South and the Midwest consistently vote again and again against their own economic interests? Or it is their children often being drafted for wars? This is against their interest yet they do it. Now I suppose if you rework “pragmatic” to mean “satisfying a deep ideological framework influenced by geopolitics, culture, socioeconomics, and race” then yes, pragmatism is the best bet.

    Pragmatism deals first and foremost with practicality and what people vote on isn’t necessarily practical. If everyone voted by pragmatism/practicality people would always be voting in their own economic interests and only looking out for number one. The “common good” is then rendered irrelevant and democracy is nothing but a disgusting Epicurean form of fiscal politics.

    You are indeed correct about Obama’s race to the center, but not everyone is doing it, namely McCain. He has slowly drifted even more to the right of the political spectrum on the campaign trail. He has literally sold out everything he used to stand for.

    In addition, “warmonger” might be a bit strong I admit, but this guy is going to continue all of the Bush Doctrine. I have six of my best friends potentially heading over to Iraq in the next year or so and frankly that is horrifying. So I would like to not be in a pointless war that is going to be even more tragically mismanaged in McCain is president.

    Subsequently, Americans hate big unresponsive government because it is…. um… unresponsive. Imagine if there were a large government that was responsive! Imagine the things it could accomplish. If a democracy ACTUALLY does what it is supposed to, then a big responsive government with lots of money from taxing the higher tax brackets is capable of funding all these social programs to help people who in the country who need it.

    Even though all poor people are just lazy, they deserve help, right?

    If McCain cared about the common soldier then he would not be in favor of continuing Bush policies in the Middle East. It’s a fact.

    The Republicans are engaging in a form of self-delusion that is unparalleled in human history. How can they say “change”? It is literally impossible. They have had the Whitehouse for 8 years and the House for 6. This is the kind of subversive, snake in the grass politics to screw with people dumb enough to buy it.

  18. People need to wake up and get their facts straight. The president doesn’t even have that much power much less the VP. They all will tell you what the people want to hear. They all go into their campaign with an agenda to please the people always have and always will. Then after they get elected the walk into the real world of politics. Tell me when change wasn’t an issue, tell; me when taxes and health care hasn’t been an issue and jobs and fair wages. Come on like Obama is a white night telling something new or McCain is going to save the nation by curbing wasteful spending, like that has never been a problem before.

    Look for leadership qualities. Do they have a back bone to stand firm in their beliefs. Will they be willing to fight and not bow down.

    When a candidate tells me that they believe that marriage is between a man and a woman and then in their next breath say that it is up to the states to decide. Or if they say that birth begins at conception and then continues to say, it is a womans choice. That is a people pleaser if I ever saw one.

    Where are the leaders in this country?
    Right or wrong, if you believe one way, say it and stand firm, don’t be wishy washy just because you want to get elected.

    I won’t comment on Palin just because she is from a small town or hasn’t had much experience in foreign affairs, great leaders don’t have to know it all, they just have to surround themselves with people who do.

    Vote with your brains, not with an opinion or because you think some picture was inappropriate

    I know many men who couldn’t make it as far as she did. Politics is tough, people are tougher, just read some of the comments some of you left and you don’t even know her.

    Just give me a leader, I don’t care about the age, the sex, if you hunt moose or even posed on the cover of a magazine, none of that tells me you aren’t a qualified leader.

    Most of you feel qualified to comment and draw conclusions about a persons ability to serve as VP and you probably don’t even know the real responsibilities of the VP or how decisions are made and how much power the President and Vice president really have.

  19. My concern is not about the power of the VP because the ultimate power they wield is minimal. But I think you have it wrong here. The president has a lot of power. A lot. No. I’m sorry. They have a shit load of power. When they have the potential the appoint the next three Supreme Court justices, make massive strides in alt. energy, pull out of a ever worsening military situation in the Middle East and to serve as a beacon of ethics and justice fo the world I would say that I am not overestimating how much power the president has.

    You are, however, absolutely right that it is important that a leader is surrounded with brilliant minds to indeed wade through all the dense, mind boggling information that a Commander in Chief must know about. But, and I say this very dramatically, these brilliant minds are to be used to complement an individual, not to compensate. There is no excuse for certain omissions from one’s intellectual palate.

    I happen to indeed know the real responsibilities of the VP and do indeed feel qualified to say that Sarah Palin is a fucking moron. I’m going to go ahead and say it. She is stupid. Incrediby stupid.

    I also feel qualified to know that you meant “white knight” and not “white night”.


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