Posted by: robinsonwarner | September 22, 2008

Watch Out for The Anti-Christ

Now in this world that is constantly in flux it is difficult to decide with whom you will spend your precious time.  You never know if certain people are compatible with your personality and disposition.  This is of course a challenge, but I’ve developed a list of things that people shouldn’t hate.  If they do, they are not to be trusted.  If people hate any of these things, proceed very, very carefully into a friendship with them.  They might be the anti-Christ.  Or perhaps a terrorist.

  • dolphins – If Flipper has taught us anything it’s that dolphins are naturally intuitive and able to sense when sharks are being assholes
  • ice cream – Does anyone actually say, “Oh I really hate ice cream.”  No.  That is not uttered.  I mean I understand that people might prefer sorbet, but no one hates ice cream.
  • TiVo
  • spooning – this involves either being little spoon or big spoon, but botth immensely enjoyable
  • Remember the Titans – stopping racism and football.  It doesn’t get much better than this.
  • gifts – everyone likes receiving and giving a really good gift.
  • movies
  • blankets
  • Aragorn – I understand that Orlando Bloom/Legolas pissed off some people because he just used to sit back and use his bow and arrow, but Aragorn/Viggo Mortensen was a true badass
  • beer
  • jetskis – to paraphrase Daniel Tosh, have you ever seen someone frown on a jetski?
  • cheeseburgers
  • iPods
  • dogs
  • clementines – they’re like oranges except with a third the work
  • waterslides
  • a long pee – one word: “peegasm”.  This explains it all.
  • M&M’s
  • snow – I know some people hate being cold, but snow is incredible.
  • Tiger Woods
  • gumballs
  • the smell of bacon
  • hooded sweatshirts
  • the Sunday comics
  • Hermione Granger
  • college
  • beer


  1. Truly you have accomplished the art of being at ease! There is nothing more laid back than gosh I don’t know……your whole list! Are there any more of you dudes around, I want to buy one!

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