Posted by: robinsonwarner | September 30, 2008

Random Musings, Part II

Does anyone else hate it when people talk about Citizen Kane?  Look film minor.  I understand you wrote a paper on it and it’s the best movie ever made by human beings, but no matter how much you tell me about camera angles, V for Vendetta is still my favorite movie.

When Asian guys look at Asian porn, what do they call it? 

People less than 160 pounds should not be allowed to wear motorcycle helmets.  You just look ridiculous!

I think all homeless people should just get a job.  I mean they’re just so lazy!

Taco Bell, in the near future will run out of names for their new line of burritos and simply call them “Diarrhea”.

There is nothing more disconcerting than someone standing over your shoulder when you’re at your computer.  This is the closest humankind has come to being able to peer into someone’s soul.  That and catch someone while they’re pooping and see what kind of face they make.

I would like to meet the person who takes the free sample at the Chinese restaurant at the food court in the mall, gets in line, and immediately purchases a meal featuring the food he just sampled.  My fear is that there is a very strong disconnect between the taste of the sample and the actual meal involving that food.  No human food is meant to be that good.

By far one of the most embarrassing things to be caught in the middle of is singing or dancing in an elevator by yourself.  It’s not embarrassing because you’re necessarily caught when those doors open, but it’s embarrassing because you thought, for that 30 second ride, that it was the right time in your day to burst into a personal rendition of “Juicy”.

Whatever happened to the Care Bears?  Did they stop caring?  Is crack involved?  I feel this can somehow be traced to 9/11.

People who are wearing sunglasses smile at least 33% less than those without.  I just made that up, but the point is why do people not smile when they have sunglasses on?  Do they think they’re the Terminator? 

Is there really such a thing as a no wiper?  I think everyone checks to see if you actually had to wipe.  And the bigger question is, do you really want to know about those people that just poop and know they don’t need to wipe?  I think the stakes are too high.  I feel the only people who do this on a regular basis are the next stage in human evolution.

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Responses

  1. Another musing: nothing will ever make me panic more than seeing my gas light go on. Despite knowing that I can go for about 100 miles after the gas light goes on, I will drive as recklessly as necessary to get to the nearest gas station.

  2. That is absolutely true. Whenever the gas light goes on I basically drive like a T. Rex is chasing me. I also like to pretend that I’m Keanu Reeves in Speed 3 where the premise is this lame; if I don’t get gas really quickly I’ll be really nervous for about five mintues and start sweating.

  3. 63.8% of all statistics are exaggerated.

  4. touche


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