Posted by: robinsonwarner | October 8, 2008

Great Expectations

So you’re out on a really nice date with a guy and he has payed for dinner, the movie and your cab back to your place.  You get back up to your door, you give him a quick kiss on the lips, say good night and walk inside.  You’ll never turn around, but if you did, you would see part of his soul dying.

Even though it might have been the first date, and he seemed like the perfect gentlemen, and as long as the guy didn’t clip his toenails into your salad, to him, sex is always on the table.  I repeat, if the guy somehow realizes that the date is in fact a good date or perhaps just a mediocre date, he will always cling to this possibility that he might be invited upstairs at your place.

And he will grab onto this possibility like a politician to a lobbyist’s handshake because of the great of potential this coupling could have; namely sex.  So when the end of the night comes and you did enjoy yourself, but you aren’t overwhelmed with passion to the point where your inhibitions go to the wind and are wiling to deal with the potential personal ethical incongruities the next morning, the guy will inevitably be disappointed with your decision to not seduce him.

There are several reasons for this disappointment.  The first reason that the guy is disappointed as a result of his unreasonable set of expectations is because movies are not real.  If movies were real then not only would all moderately dorky guys with kind of charming personalities be dating the most beautiful girls ever, but also, somewhere out in the world, there is a pig named “Babe” that herds dogs.  I’m not ready to deal with that reality and neither are most guys, so when they supplement reality for movies, they only include the parts of movies that involve guys having sex with girls after one night or a guy doing this in successive dates.  They cling to this as a potential for them, they just have to get out there and play their cards right.

This is of course foolish.  Not because this doesn’t happen, but rather because it doesn’t happen that often.   But all guys think that it can if they just had the right body, or car, or clothes, or personality, or team of writers as their ghost scribes for their unusually witty exchanges with the fairer sex then they could be capable of such sexual rampages.

The second reason that guys expect sex after a date is because they’re not really sure what else to because the “what else” category is very gray and it involves a lot of feelings, talking, and ambiguous things such as “relationships”.  Guys expect sex after the date because they are able to cling to some sort of formula or universal so that they can control the situation.  Because lets be perfectly honest, guys are rarely, if ever, in control when it comes to women.  So if guys can somehow rationalize and compartmentalize things to the most  basic of factors, then they are a little more at easy.  However feeble, guys will always cling to this formula:  (money) x (dinner + movie) x (being nice) = sex.


  1. you slay me with your babe reference.

  2. a feasible explanation, although there’s way more to the equation than whether he clips his toenails into the salad (funeeee. but I’ve had worse dates and they STILL expected sex haha) thanks for letting us climb into a guy’s head

  3. I guess this might be true if people are at the age where most of good ones are married and/ or engaged. But for most girls in college (and maybe after?) you can’t sleep with someone just because you went out with him. And the first date! A lot of people haven’t even had sex at all yet.

    You guys will have your hurt egos and “dork status” to avoid but we’ve also got some standards (for you and us) as well as the need to avoid the “slut” status.

  4. I completely agree. The frame of reference from which I write is that of a recently graduated from college male. With that being said, I don’t beieve at all that this is a reasonable expectation or legitimately rational, however the fact of the matter is that somewhere deep down, many guys feel this way.

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