Posted by: robinsonwarner | November 2, 2009

Things That Go Drunk In The Night, Part III

In honor of Halloween and crazy shit that usually happens as a result I would like to finish my final installment for a while about drinking.  Everyone loves low lying fruit, but you get full from it very quickly.  On Halloween you go out drinking and you do a bunch of weird stuff in a costume.  You might make out with Lilu Multipass or rub shoulders with The Incredible Hulk at a bar, but you know you are going to get into some strange stuff that you will most certainly regret in the morning.

The regret starts when you wake up and assess the damage.  You can figure out what your hangover is and you can also try to unravel what the hell is next to you in your bed.  These are the worst things to wake up next to after a night of drinking.

10)  Someone you don’t know.

9)  Someone you don’t know who is also homeless.

8)  Your prized horse’s head.

7)  The DVD case from The Notebook which means you most certainly did at least one of two things

  • Watched the extended sex scenes from the Bonus Material.
  • Called your ex.

6)  First Aid kit.

5)  Hair from your eyebrows.

4)  A receipt from a tattoo parlor.

3)  A hooker.

2)  Fast food wrappers.

1)  A dead hooker.

 

I’m lazy and have a cold.  Bear with me.  Tomorrow’s post will be better.

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